Mothers Day

One of the best moments in my life was the day I became a mother. It is one of the hardest, most rewarding jobs I will ever have. From a young age I always wanted to be like a mom, just like mine. When I would play house I was always Mom, yes I am older, but that was what I wanted more than anything when I grew up.

At five, I had no clue how hard it was, I saw my Mom and the stuff she did, if I did that then I would be a mom. At 20 I had no clue how hard it was, but very quickly found out when my eldest came into the world. To say I was slightly under prepared, would be an understatement. But like every other mother in the world the learning curve is a steep and fast one, but you catch on pretty quick.

He hardly slept the little bugger. I swear that boy would go to bed at midnight and wake up at 5am bright eyed, and bushy tailed. Sleep was a thing of the past indeed. Never mind, the middle of the night feedings, the crying that wouldn’t stop no matter what I did, and you’d go through the whole list, change the diaper, feed him, hug him, sing to him, hell I even found myself in the crib because he wouldn’t sleep. The things you do for your baby.

You suddenly find yourself doing anything and everything for that baby. There isn’t anything you wouldn’t do. The same show over and over again until you are repeating it in your sleep, when you happen to doze off, building towers of Lego and playing cars in the dirt. I read the same story over and over because that’s the one he liked.

Then there were the harder times, the first time he fell and got hurt. The nights, when he was sick and there was nothing I could do, the trips to the hospital that made my heart cry. The nights I would spend crying to sleep because I was tired, and nobody told me this was how it was going to be.

The decisions I had to make, were all about him. Whatever was best for him, no matter how hard they were for me. Not one person explained that one to me. But I learned. Even through those desperately hard times, I wouldn’t have traded it for anything. I felt like I was doing what I was meant to do.

Skip ahead many years and for the first time in a very long while I am feeling like I have the right to celebrate this day once again. A mother again, much has changed this time around, much has stayed the same. But for me personally, I am humbled this time around, I don’t for granted these moments which are indeed fleeting at best, though difficult at the time, and I have been tested. I know it’s all worth it in the end. Its the best job.

So to all the moms, who have bags under their eyes from very little sleep, whose hair hasn’t been brushed in awhile, who wear the same clothes every day, who are spit up on, peed on, and don’t even care, the ones who stay up all night with their babies when they are sick, drive everywhere, do anything to make them better. The women that juggle jobs, and kids, husbands and partners and sometimes not. The ones who the job doesn’t stop if you are feeling tired or sick. The ones that carry screaming kids out of shopping centres and grocery stores, who pee nursing a baby, or hide in closets, cry in showers just to get a minute. I salute you. I am you. Thank you for everything that you do. This world wouldn’t turn without you. You are underpaid, and underappreciated most of the time. But we all know that its worth it in the end. Here’s to all the moms around the world that do it all. Happy Mothers Day ❤ ❤ <3. Enjoy your day.

A thousand stitches= a thousand thoughts of you.

Yesterday even though feeling under the weather I met up with my mom for a bit.  We exchanged late birthday gifts.

To her, the usual amethyst piece in a nice handpainted box and to me a big bag with a hand knit blanket in it.

She told me the colors of it reminded her of me, its my favorite bird. My mom knows me well, I smiled.

We chatted about life, my new boyfriend and such things and we went for a walk and had some tea. Even though I could hard breathe because of this cold, I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else. This princess can suck it up for an afternoon.

We walked back to my house and we chatted some more and we hugged goodbye and as she left she told me that every stitch was a thought of me. Aww Mommy. I was already a blubbery mess and this made me cry more.

I went inside and snuggled my new blanket just like I did when I was a kid. We had just had quite the heart to heart. I told her about how the book I picked up with her last time had changed my life. Then after so many years of confused and hurt feelings, I told her thank you. Thank you for doing what she did for me and how hard that must’ve been to watch me go through it.

I told her I finally understood everything and I was eternally grateful for what she had done.

So when she said that about the stitches and everything it made my heart glow. My mom, sister and I are all pretty crafty and have this made from each other. I thought about how long it takes to knit a blanket. I learned to knit when I was young and again when I was older, its relaxing and time consuming. My mom has been knitting forever. I thought about all the various things she has made for me, hats and mitts, scarves, sweaters and now a blanket. These are just what she knit, she has sewn much more two prom dresses, so many dresses etc.

I thought about when I make something for someone, food or craft, the time it takes, is time I spend thinking of that person.

Every stitch is full of joy and happiness of having that person in my life, each one is a memory, a picture, a thought forever in my heart.

Now as I have gotten older, I see myself very much like my mom, we’ve always looked similar, liked similar colors and things. Part of me disliked this, part of me appreciates it so very much.

Sometimes, my mom wasn’t so good at showing how she felt unless she was mad or so I thought. She had been just in her own way, a language of stitches, swatches, seams,  and strokes. A language I am quite fluent in myself. I am so grateful to have someone that spends their time showing me their love. I have pieces thst I have hung onto just because she made them and the memories it holds, the love it holds. So thanks Mom. Thank you for blanket, and everything else you’ve made or done, I love you 💗